If we were sitting across from each other with warm mugs in hand, this is where I’d lean in and say: It’s okay if you’re angry with God right now. After betrayal, many women feel spiritual anger but don’t know what to do with it. We wonder if we’re allowed to feel this way. We question whether our faith is failing—or if we are.
Anger toward God after betrayal is more common than you think. When the marriage you prayed over shatters, when truth comes out despite your faithfulness, it’s natural to ask, Where were You, God? That anger doesn’t mean you’ve walked away from Him. Often, it means the relationship mattered deeply.
I was the girl who followed all the rules, trying my best to please God with my faith and actions. Somehow, I had thought those choices would protect me from things like betrayal. I remember pointing out to God, “I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me, even left the country to serve You on foreign soil. And this is what I get?” I questioned whether or not following God was even worth it. Looking back now, I see how those first hard questions became the catalyst to finding healing.
You’re Not the First to Ask Hard Questions
Scripture is full of faithful people who questioned God. David cried out in the Psalms. Jeremiah openly lamented his pain. Job demanded answers. Lament isn’t rebellion—it’s relationship. God never scolded His people for bringing Him their raw emotions. He invited honesty. Biblical lament shows us that faith doesn’t require silence or composure. It allows grief, confusion, and even anger to be spoken aloud. God would rather hear your honest cry than polite distance.
Processing Spiritual Anger Without Guilt
So how do you work through spiritual anger in a way that brings healing instead of shame? First, name it. Saying “I’m angry at God” can feel terrifying, but unspoken anger doesn’t disappear—it just burrows deeper. Second, bring it directly to Him. Pray honestly. Journal your anger. Speak it aloud when you’re alone. God is not fragile. Your emotions will not scare Him away. Third, separate God from what happened. Betrayal was a human choice, not a divine plan. God grieves with you—even when you’re angry with Him.
During one of my first group support meetings, I remember the facilitator talking about how God wasn’t scared of our emotions, our questions, and even our anger. Her reassurance shifted a place in my heart and mind, and I began to see God differently – as a Father who could handle my humanity and emotional frailty with unconditional love and grace.
Hope in the Middle of Lament
One verse that I stood on consistently during those early days and many days since was Lamentations 3:22-23. I completely identified with feeling of being consumed and overwhelmed by it all. That I wouldn’t be able to go on. That verse spoke to my feelings and reminded me that “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning.” Even when my faith felt fractured, God’s mercy remained steady.
Know this, you don’t have to feel grateful yet. You just have to keep showing up. Anger doesn’t mean your faith is broken beyond repair. Sometimes it means God is meeting you in a deeper, more honest place—one conversation at a time.
Always Wrangling Hope,
Alicia Hall
Groups Administrator
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