Prayer can bring a river of responses in casual conversation. The “knowledgeable” might speak of how it should be done and what words should be used. Those who focus on ritual are quick to spout requirements of time, order, and process. Still others focus on prayer being as easy as having coffee with a friend. But for some – and I’d say that number is quite high – there is a mixed bag of opinions on prayer that includes elements of each from the list above.
My betrayal story taught me more about prayer than I ever knew before. Before betrayal, I felt mediocre in my prayer skills. I struggled to stay focused. I didn’t always see results. I succumbed to life’s busyness and lacked the commitment it took to have an effective “prayer time.” And more often than not, I would look back at the week and realize I’d spent less than five minutes in conversation with my Creator.
Words on the Wall
When betrayal wrecked my world, I was left with scripture and prayer. To keep myself from a constant heap of tears on the floor, I plastered scriptures everywhere in my home, especially in my bedroom, where I woke up night after night filled with anxiety and grief. In those moments, I’d simply flip on the lamp and begin to read scriptures posted on the wall next to my bed. I’d ask the Lord to renew my mind with His truth. There were no fancy words or prayer acrostics to help me do it in the “correct “ way. This prayer time enabled me to root myself in what God said about me and my situation. I also knew that if it was in His word, then I was praying in agreement with His will. As I prayed God’s words back to him, He slowly exchanged my fear, anxiety, and pain with His truth, love, and grace.
It looked something like this . . .
- God, Colossians 1:17-18 says that You “hold it all together, right up to this moment” so I am trusting you to hold me together and not let the devastation of this betrayal destroy me.
- Psalms 56:96 says “You are for me!” I will not cower; I will stand firm. I will not worry; I will believe. Because the almighty Creator and everlasting God is by my side and fighting for me.
- Isaiah 43:1-3 – Jesus you have “redeemed me and called me by name.” You won’t let “the river {of this pain} drown me.” You promise the “fire of {betrayal} shall not consume me.” You are with me and I will not fear!
- Lamentations 3:22-23 – “because of the Lord’s great love, I am not CONSUMED! For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning.” You are always faithful. You are enough and “I will wait for you.”
God loves it when we use His own words to pray. Need a verse to get started? Try any of the ones above.
The Empowerment of Prayer
Over a year into my betrayal story, I attended the Redeemed Hope Retreat, which became another turning point in my prayer life. The weekend was lavished in prayer by the entire retreat team, even before I showed up to the location. I loved knowing I had been prayed for, especially because I felt weary from spiritually fighting this battle alone. That weekend, however, I was also invited to fight in a new and powerful way. From our sessions and my time spent with the team, I suddenly realized the power I had in prayer. I didn’t have to come to God begging or wringing my hands. I could come “boldly” before God’s throne, just like Hebrews 4:16 says. I no longer had to settle for quiet prayers in the night. I could fight against the darkness that threatened to take out my marriage, my children, my family – my entire world as I knew it. I learned to pray warfare prayers that helped me fight triggers, overcome the effects of trauma, and send those “principalities and rulers of darkness” to Jesus where he could deal with them. Because when I am daughter of the King, I get to speak with authority over the things that threaten to destroy me.
Seeing Myself with New Eyes
Another prayer power I stepped into was the realization that God wanted to hang with me because he thought I was AH-MAY-ZING (See Zephaniah 3:17 and Ephesians 2:10). As we discussed our identity in Christ, and I began to see myself as God sees me, I realized that He wanted to spend time with me because he thought I was great. He handcrafted me (Ephesians 2:10) and cannot wait to share all the good things He has planned for me. When I began to accept His view of me, I wanted to spend more time with him.
For me, prayer is now a sweet time. I relate it to the constant connection we can have with a friend these days. We can text, chat on the phone, send an email, grab lunch together, or spend a weekend away. I can do all those things with God as well, especially as it relates to my prayer life. Here’s what that might look like:
- Texting – A quick prayer regarding a real-time moment we are experiencing (need for safety, or wisdom to respond to a hard comment or to give Godly advice)
- Chatting on the phone – A more formal prayer where I might follow a prayer process or method – getting to the nitty gritty of things.
- Send an email – A prayer journaling time where I face off with a hard topic or huge burden and need clarity on my feelings and direction for my steps. I write AND listen, fully expecting God’s voice and wisdom to flow through my pen.
- Lunch together – A time of conversation where I talk; He listens. He talks; I listen. Together, we can even relish in quiet companionship.
- Weekend away – An extended period of time (half a day, full day, weekend) to simply be with God: listening, being still, offering Him uninterrupted time to simply speak to you and you to Him about whatever is on your heart.
A Gift to Unwrap
Did you realize that God is that friend that gets giddy at the thought of simply spending time together? He loves and adores you that much. When we truly begin to grasp that truth and step into our authority as a daughter of the King, prayer is no longer a burden but a gift that can be unwrapped again and again.