Welcome to Part 2 of Playing Offense on Valentine’s Day. In our last post, we explored the emotional impact of Valentine’s Day in a betrayal story. We also acknowledge the pain, anger, and loneliness that can surface on a day filled with romantic symbolism. Instead of letting the day magnify heartbreak, betrayed partners can take control by shifting our focus to loving ourselves. This may look like treating ourselves with care, engaging in meaningful activities, and reaffirming our value.
When we choose to work through betrayal with our partner, it is important to vocalize our expectations for the holiday. Open communication can help redefine the celebration in a way that feels safe and meaningful. Some questions might be if we want to acknowledge the holiday, how to celebrate, and what level of intimacy or connection feels right. Thoughtful planning can foster empowerment, promote our peace of mind, and help us navigate a day that might otherwise be emotionally challenging. Remember: betrayal does not define one’s worth, and Valentine’s Day can be reclaimed as a celebration of self-love, strength, and intentional choices.
With those thoughts in mind, let’s discuss a few more ways to play offense on this day of hearts.
- Meet and Greet Your Emotions – It’s okay to grieve, to feel anger, and to acknowledge the hurt, but don’t let it consume you simply because the love holiday looms. When the unruly emotions knock, let them in, feel them, and then kindly ask them to leave – that’s where healing and empowerment are found. If you ignore their arrival, they often refuse to leave. Consider these options for your emotional meet and greet.
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- Take some time to sit and journal about how you feel about this “Love holiday”
- Use a feelings wheel to zoom in on the exact feeling that has arrived
- If it makes you sad, cry. Angry, throw ice. Nostalgic, acknowledge what you’ve lost.
- Schedule an extra appointment with your coach or therapist.
- Chat with a support group friend.
- Participate in a physical activity like boxing or dance to channel your emotions into strength.
- Redefine Love with God – Betrayal can leave you questioning the meaning of love, but it can also be an opportunity to redefine it with God’s help. One of the best ways to do that is to consider God’s character, which can be found in his names. Use the list below to help you create a new definition of true love and by asking,
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- “How does this particular character trait of God demonstrate love?”
- “How does each one meet my relational needs? Emotional needs? Physical needs?”
- Click on the link for each name to help you discover more.
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- El Shaddai (Lord God Almighty)
- El Elyon (The Most High God)
- Adonai (Lord, Master)
- Yahweh (Lord, Jehovah)
- Jehovah Nissi (The Lord My Banner)
- Jehovah-Raah (The Lord My Shepherd)
- Jehovah Rapha (The Lord That Healss
- Jehovah Shammah (The Lord Is There)
- Jehovah Tsidkenu (The Lord Our Righteousness)
- Jehovah Mekoddishkem (The Lord Who Sanctifies You)
- El Olam (The Everlasting God)
- Elohim (God)
- Qanna (Jealous)
- Jehovah Jireh (The Lord Will Provide)
- Jehovah Shalom (The Lord Is Peace)
- Jehovah Sabaoth (The Lord of Hosts)
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Working The Game Plan
Yes, Valentine’s Day can feel heavy, but it can also mark the beginning of something powerful: your journey back to yourself – just as God fearfully and wonderfully created you. You are not broken. You are not unworthy. You are a woman who has survived, who continues to rise, and who is more than capable of creating a life filled with the love she deserves—whether that’s from within, from friends and family, or from God’s love that is patient, kind, and true.
This February 14th, hold your head high. Light a candle for your resilience. And remember, the most important love story you’ll ever have is the one God writes with you.