I used to move through the holiday season on autopilot — decorating, hosting, smiling, doing “all the things” because that’s what good Christian women did. I poured myself out until there was barely anything left. Then betrayal shattered the version of my life I thought was secure, and with it, the way I approached the holidays.
I wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone. But I also won’t deny what God did with it.
Shifting Intentions
In the months that followed my heartbreak, I found myself moving slower. My prayers were shorter but somehow more honest. I stopped trying to impress God with my strength, and instead leaned on His. I began to understand what Scripture means when it says He is “close to the brokenhearted” and lifts up those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). I had read that verse for years — but in that season, I lived it.
And as the next holiday season approached, I realized something unexpected: betrayal had stripped away my need to make everything look perfect. I no longer had the emotional energy to decorate every corner, say yes to every event, or host every gathering. Instead, I asked myself one simple question: What actually matters?
I found myself choosing slower mornings with God over rushing to create a Pinterest-perfect home. I set boundaries I’d been too afraid to set before. I let myself decline invitations without guilt. And when loneliness or grief bubbled up, I let them come — not as enemies, but as reminders to turn my heart toward the One who promised to carry every burden (Matthew 11:28).
The holidays didn’t magically become easier. But they did become more intentional. More honest. More anchored in the presence of the God who had never betrayed me, never abandoned me, and never stopped healing what had been broken.
No More Pretending
If you’re entering this season with a tender heart and a weary spirit, let me gently say this: you don’t have to perform. You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to hold the world together. You only have to hold onto Him. And piece by piece, He will show you what really matters — and in His time, He will make beauty rise from the heartbreak you’re living through now (Isaiah 61:3).
You are not alone, friend. He is already in your holidays, shaping them into something far more meaningful than before.
Wrangling hope with you,
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