In March of 2022, I attended the Redeemed Hope Retreat. We were given an assignment near the end of the weekend, which I still hold close to my heart almost two years later. We were to write notes to ourselves, reminding us of what the Lord had said to each of us individually throughout the weekend, and the hope the Lord instilled in us for the future.
Sometimes I feel like I’m right back in that place where the Lord spoke these precious words to me. In those moments, I feel both the hard in all of it and the overwhelming love He used to carry me through from there to now. So, I wanted to share the conversation between my Jesus and me, along with a declaration I have adapted from Jenifer Colwart’s Bible Study, “Fierce.” I pray these will resonate and encourage someone else who’s walking this journey.
Jesus’s Message to Me
I’m sitting in my big swing in the back yard, after the battle. My hands have cuts and scrapes and are very soiled. My nails are jagged and torn. My work boots are singed and dirty tears are dried on my face.
I’m tired of fighting. I can’t tell if I’m winning. I know that I’m alive, but I don’t know what’s next.
Jesus is suddenly standing in front of me. He puts his hands on my shoulders and He smiles. “I am always with you in the battles. You rarely see Me and often are unable to sense My nearness to you. But, I am always whispering, ‘go this way, I’ve got you, don’t fear, not much longer.’
“I always have your back. I give you strength to look at truth and to live in situations you never thought possible. I give you rest when you need it and I am working miracles you can’t see.
“I am so proud of you and love you so much. Use My strength—My blood to turn back the lies of the Enemy. Testify to all the goodness you’ve seen in Me to those who are coming behind and even those up ahead. Your offerings of My faithfulness in the battle are always valuable—even if others don’t seem to want your offering.
“You are especially valuable to me—You are My daughter, warrior, princess in the King’s court. I have and will equip you to keep fighting for me in this world.
“I, Myself, will tend to your wounds. I will heal your broken heart, your broken life. I have overcome the world.
“Don’t worry about how you look. The cuts and grime show you haven’t acquiesced to the lies—you’ve stood, represented Me and with courage looked evil in the face and said, ‘You will take no more from me.’
“These swings are a reminder of my gifts to you—
Freedom to fly
To see beauty
To defy what is earthbound
And to soar in the heavenlies.
“It is your destiny, my warrior princess, and you are precious to Me.
I am in the process of making all things new and that includes your precious heart… and your todays and tomorrows.”
DECLARATION (Adapted from Jennifer Cowart’s FIERCE)
I am a fierce woman of God.
I have strength that comes from beyond myself.
I am bathed in the forgiveness and love of Jesus.
He holds my heart so firmly that I am able to find joy and peace in the midst of my battles.
Because I am a woman of God, I am a warrior at heart—not savage or violent but tempered with loving-kindness.
I am a beautiful servant with a backbone made of steel.
I am wise, gentle and dangerous, in the best sense of those words.
I will stand at my post, occupy enemy territory, and see the victory and glory of the Living God…
Until He comes back or takes me home.
With You in the Battle,
Coach Michelle Russell