The holidays are often painted as a season of joy, connection, and celebration. But for those walking through the pain of betrayal, this time of year can feel heavy and complicated. Everywhere you turn, there are reminders of what’s been lost—or what isn’t as it once was.
Yet even in the midst of brokenness, this season offers an opportunity to slow down, breathe deeply, and realign your heart with what is true and healing.
Mindfulness: Staying Present in the Moment
Pain has a way of pulling us into the past or pushing us toward fear of the future. Mindfulness invites us to pause and simply be in the moment—without judgment or pressure to “fix” everything.
You might begin your morning with a simple breath prayer:
“Lord, help me to be fully present to You, to myself, and to this day.”
During a family gathering, I felt tears rising as I watched couples laughing together. Instead of running to the bathroom to hide, I took a slow, deep breath and silently prayed, “Lord, this hurts—but I’m still here.” That tiny act of awareness reminded me that I didn’t have to escape every painful moment. I could let God meet me in it.
Even when emotions rise unexpectedly, pause and notice. Feelings are indicators, not enemies. God meets us in the present, not in the “what ifs.”
Intentionality: Creating Meaningful Space
When trust is broken, chaos often follows. Intentionality is a way of reclaiming peace by choosing what matters most. That might mean simplifying traditions, creating new ones, or setting aside quiet time for prayer and reflection.
The first Christmas after betrayal, I didn’t have the energy to decorate the entire house. Instead, I set up one small nativity on the mantle and lit a candle each night as I read a short Advent passage. It wasn’t flashy or festive, but it felt sacred—like reclaiming a small corner of peace amid the chaos.
Ask yourself: What would make this season meaningful for me this year? Then let your schedule, spending, and energy reflect that answer.
Choice: Reclaiming Your Power
Betrayal can make you feel powerless. But every day, you have choices—how to respond, where to focus, what to hold onto. Choosing joy, hope, or even stillness is not denial of pain; it’s an act of faith. Each small decision toward truth and peace is a step toward healing.
When I felt overwhelmed by my spouse’s choices and the uncertainty of the future, I decided to choose one thing I could control: gratitude. Each morning, I wrote down three things I was thankful for. It was simple, but it helped me remember that I still had agency—and that God was still good.
Authenticity: Giving Yourself Permission to Be Real
You don’t have to fake “merry and bright.” Authenticity allows your heart to breathe. Let trusted friends know what you can and can’t handle this year. Be honest in your prayers. God is not intimidated by your emotions; He welcomes them.
One Christmas Eve, I couldn’t stop crying during the candlelight service. Normally, I would’ve held it in, but this time I let the tears fall. It was uncomfortable, but strangely freeing. I realized that God wasn’t asking me to perform joy—He was asking me to bring Him my heart, just as it was.
A Season of Gentle Hope
Facing the holidays after betrayal is not about perfection—it’s about presence. When you approach this season with mindfulness, intentionality, choice, and authenticity, you create room for healing and for God’s peace to dwell richly within you.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18
Want more support on navigating the holidays after betrayal? Check out our From the Vault Webinars: Holiday Edition. New previously recorded webinars posted each week through December.