Betrayal Trauma and the Body

Bonny Burns, founder of Strong Wives, gives some great insight into the connection between Trauma and the Body in her blog post “You’re Not Freaking Out, You’re Responding to Death.”

For nearly 70% of women, their bodies physically change when they realize their husbands have betrayed them. This physiological response is similar to PTSD when discovering their husbands are watching pornography, or acting out in sexual venues, or other avenues. If you find you had a strong emotional response to finding your husband has been unfaithful, you are probably one of the 70%. Therefore, If anyone uses the terms, “freaking out,” or “panicking,” to label you, personally reject them. Here’s why.

Either through disclosure or accidental discovery, your husband’s secret is out.  He is directing his sexual energy to someone or something other than you, whether through pornography/webcam viewing, visiting sexual venues, serial affairs, or one long affair. At the moment of discovery, your inner world and your outer world explode like a die pack in a bank robber’s duffel bag. Or, as many wives I’ve known describe it, you feel defiled, shell shocked, or gut punched. Everything you thought true about your husband – that he had your back and shared the same values – is now in question. Who is this man?

To read the full post, visit Bonny’s blog.

Discover Empowerment for the Betrayal Journey

Healthy boundaries are an essential part of the healing process.  Our Boundaries course is uniquely designed to give you real-time answers to your questions as you work through setting and sticking to your boundaries in daily life.

Are you struggling with feelings of betrayal and hopelessness?

Hope Redefined offers a 10-week Finding Hope Online Support and Study Group that offers participants an opportunity to overcome the devastation of betrayal. Participants will work through Hope Redefined’s Finding Hope workbook, which will help you better understand your pain and lead you to a place of healing.

Reflection, clarity, and courage

A Values workshop

Discover your inner strength and reclaim your values by reflecting and clarifying what is important to you, then step out with the courage to live by them daily. 

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As a woman experiencing sexual betrayal, the journey can feel lonely and isolating.  The confusion and shame can be paralyzing.  Take your first step toward healing today by joining the Hope Online Community. For a minimal monthly cost,  you get access to extensive resources and instant community support with women who are walking the same road.

Post Disclosure Support

Are you taking steps with your partner toward Full Therapeutic Disclosure?  Are you still reeling from the Rite of Truth? Do you lack direction now that you’ve walked through the disclosure process? 

We’ve been there, too! Find direction and community by joining our Post Disclosure support group.

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