Betrayal Trauma and the Body

Bonny Burns, founder of Strong Wives, gives some great insight into the connection between Trauma and the Body in her blog post “You’re Not Freaking Out, You’re Responding to Death.”

For nearly 70% of women, their bodies physically change when they realize their husbands have betrayed them. This physiological response is similar to PTSD when discovering their husbands are watching pornography, or acting out in sexual venues, or other avenues. If you find you had a strong emotional response to finding your husband has been unfaithful, you are probably one of the 70%. Therefore, If anyone uses the terms, “freaking out,” or “panicking,” to label you, personally reject them. Here’s why.

Either through disclosure or accidental discovery, your husband’s secret is out.  He is directing his sexual energy to someone or something other than you, whether through pornography/webcam viewing, visiting sexual venues, serial affairs, or one long affair. At the moment of discovery, your inner world and your outer world explode like a die pack in a bank robber’s duffel bag. Or, as many wives I’ve known describe it, you feel defiled, shell shocked, or gut punched. Everything you thought true about your husband – that he had your back and shared the same values – is now in question. Who is this man?

To read the full post, visit Bonny’s blog.

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