Beauty from Ashes: Sharing Your Story

When the Story Changes

In the aftermath of my first d-day, I remember so badly not wanting this to be my story. I wanted to keep the story I had: marry my high school sweetheart, build a family and a life, go on crazy adventures, and lay down to sleep next to my best friend every night.  Yet, here I was a member of the club no one ever wants to join. Whether or not I wanted this story, it was now mine. What was I going to do with it?

My first response was a typical response: I would be silent., keep a secret one that no one would ever know except for myself and my husband. The humiliation and shame were heavy.

God’s Comfort in the Valley

Early on, I created a playlist entitled “The Story I’ll Tell.” Even then, I knew that one day my story would be told. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” This verse has come up many times over my 50-something years in relation to trials, setbacks, unanswered prayer, or an unexpected challenge. While I have faced many, I have never faced one with the magnitude of marital betrayal. Even in its midst, the Lord brought the verse to me again. 

Honestly, instead of angst over sharing my story, the verse brought me hope. If I had to endure such pain, at least I could use it to help someone else.  Bearing one another’s burdens became a quick reality.  When a woman speaks of her betrayal pain, her confusion, or her grief, I get it!  And those who’ve been betrayed need just that – someone to validate their pain and give them a safe place to heal.  

From Wounded to Willing

I have become that safe person. Just two summers ago, I graduated from A Door Hope’s peer facilitator training course led by Donna Dixon. Again, my betrayal story added another chapter of healing. Although, I’m not sure exactly where it will take me, I now have the tools to better lead women who are walking that unwanted journey.  While my main focus hasn’t been to lead support groups, I have tools to do help in many ways.  The training better equipped me to interact with hurting people, no matter their story.  It allowed me to live out 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 in my daily life and in my work responsibilities at Hope Redefined as the Groups and Marketing Director.

Once again, I’m writing a new chapter of my story. Better yet, I’ve given God the pen.  I made myself available to be used by Him as it relates to the story I never wanted to tell.  There is an unexplainable and quiet joy in knowing that Satan didn’t take me out with this terrifying betrayal plot twist. He pushed me closer to God.  Now I have tools, strength, and determination I didn’t have before – to do as Jesus did: comfort the brokenhearted, proclaim that captives will be released, help set prisoners free,  point the mourners to the one who graciously gives his love.

Letting God Write the Rest

Could you be another who would choose to tell her story for the benefit of a hurting sister? Would you let the Lord send you to be a support group leader? Or just a safe space for a hurting friend? Can you let go of the shame and hurt to step into a place to show others how to do the same? 

Don’t let your story be wasted. If God is asking you to step out, take a deep breath and do it. A Door of Hope’s peer facilitator training might be the perfect place for you to start! 

Always Wrangling Hope,

Alicia

*If you are interested in becoming a peer facilitator, check out A Door of Hope’s website or send me a private message. I’d love to answer your questions. Already taken ADOH training?  We’d love to have you join our mentorship program to help hone your skills.  Check it out here.