I was recently listening to a teaching from Graham Cooke, and something he said caught my heart in the best way. He was talking about what it means to speak the truth in love — and I realized how often that phrase gets misunderstood. We sometimes treat it like permission to tell someone all their shortcomings – just in a nicer tone. But that’s not love. And honestly, it’s not helpful.
Speaking truth in love isn’t about calling out what’s wrong in someone — it’s about calling forth who they already are in Christ. Truth isn’t an opinion, a correction, or a checklist. Truth is a Person — and His name is Jesus. When we remind someone of Truth, we’re not managing their behavior; we’re restoring their identity. It sounds more like this: “You’re already free in Christ. The old self died with Him. The new you is being made whole — day by day.”
What If This Was Our Mindset in Accountability?
Listening to Graham’s message made me wonder: What if this was the mindset we carried as accountability partners in recovery and healing?
Too often, accountability turns into a scoreboard of failure and success — a checklist of “Did you mess up?” or “Did you do the right thing this week?”But what if accountability wasn’t about behavior management? What if it was about identity restoration? What if, instead of saying, “Don’t do the bad thing,” we said, “Remember who you are. Remember where you come from. Remember that your healing has already begun — and that changes everything about your future.”
When we help each other remember who we are in Christ, shame loses its power. Old beliefs lose their space. And love — the real kind that transforms hearts — starts doing what only love can do.
Truth That Heals
Truth in love sounds like hope. It looks like kindness. And it feels like someone standing beside you, reminding you that your story isn’t over and your identity is secure.
So the next time you sit across from someone in their struggle — or find yourself needing grace for your own — pause and ask: “What would it look like to remind this person (or myself) of who we are in Jesus right now?” That’s what speaking truth in love really means. And that kind of truth — the kind anchored in Jesus — is the one that heals.
Prayer for Walking Together in Truth and Love
Jesus,
Thank You for inviting me into this sacred space — the space of walking with others who are learning to live free. You’ve trusted me to stand beside brothers and sisters whose stories are marked by pain and betrayal,
and yet, also by Your relentless grace.
Teach me how to hold truth and love in the same hand. When shame wants to speak louder than hope, help me remind them — and myself — that You’ve already named us redeemed. When the old patterns whisper, “You’ll never change,” let my words echo Heaven’s truth: “You are already being made new.”
Guard my heart from pride, from judgment, from the urge to fix. Make me a safe place where honesty can breathe, and healing can take root.
Let my accountability not sound like “Don’t do the bad thing,” but like, “Remember who you are — chosen, seated, beloved.”
When the weight feels heavy, when relapse or grief shows up at the table, remind me that You are not disappointed. You are present. You are still writing redemption into every story.
Thank You, Jesus, for being the Truth that sets us free. Help me speak Your truth with gentleness, to see others the way You see them — not as their past, but as Your masterpiece in progress.
Amen.
In Hope,
