As October arrives, store aisles fill with costumes and masks of every kind—superheroes, princesses, and playful disguises meant for one night of pretending. But for many walking through betrayal trauma, “wearing a mask” doesn’t end when Halloween is over. It can become a daily survival skill—one that hides pain, fear, or confusion beneath a brave smile.
After betrayal, we often learn to wear emotional masks to protect ourselves. We might put on the mask of strength, pretending we’re fine so no one worries. Or the mask of spiritual composure, saying “God’s got this” when inside our faith feels fragile. There’s also the mask of control, trying to hold everything together so we won’t break apart. These masks can help us function for a time—but eventually, they become heavy.
Healing begins when we slowly start to take them off.
Honesty and Me
Being honest with ourselves is the first step. Psalm 51:6 says, “Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.” God already knows the truth of our hearts—He invites us to see it too. This means naming our feelings without shame: “I’m angry,” “I’m afraid,” or “I don’t trust yet.” For me, honesty began the day I stopped minimizing my husband’s betrayal. I realized the truth ran deeper than I wanted to believe. It wasn’t just one mistake—it was layers of deception that broke something sacred. Facing that truth felt unbearable, but it was also the doorway to freedom. God can only heal what we’re willing to bring into the light.
Honesty and You
Next, being honest with others creates connection and safety. That might mean telling a trusted friend, counselor, or group leader, “I’m not okay right now.” Vulnerability is frightening, but it’s also freeing. Galatians 6:2 reminds us to “carry each other’s burdens.” Group support can be a powerful place to begin—where you can practice honesty, find empathy, and be seen without judgment. As we head into the holiday season, consider starting with community and connection in our upcoming workshop or through Hope Online, where others walking this same path are ready to walk beside you.
Honesty and God
Finally, being honest with God is where true transformation begins. He can handle our raw prayers, our tears, even our anger. The Psalms are full of people crying out in honesty—and finding God faithful in return. When we stop pretending before Him, we make space for His healing presence to meet us exactly where we are.
As you see costumes and masks this season, let them remind you of the tender work of unmasking. You don’t have to hide behind strength, composure, or control anymore. God’s love doesn’t require pretending—it invites truth. So take a deep breath. Set the mask aside. Come into the light where healing happens, where grace abides, and where Immanuel—God with us—meets you in the real, unfiltered places of your heart.
A Prayer for Taking Off the Mask
Lord, help me to lay down every mask I’ve used to protect my heart. Give me courage to face truth—with myself, with others, and with You. Meet me in the places I’ve hidden and remind me that Your love is safe, strong, and constant. Teach me to live unmasked in Your healing light. Amen.
Traveling in Hope,
