Resolved?
Every year, in the last days of December, you’ll find me cleaning out a closet, rearranging the kitchen cabinets, and packing up trash bags of this and that to take to the local thrift store. The end of the year stirs up desires to clean out the old in an effort to make room for the new, as if the arrival of January 1st means my life and home must suddenly be in order. Anyone else?
The pressure to move into the new year resolved to live differently – lose weight, exercise, follow a dream, live on a budget, forgive old hurts – is strong. What is the pull of that looming date of January first? There’s a first in every month of the year, yet we place so much pressure on that one day. The difference between December 31 and January 1 is the same as any other day to the next.
Living a life of resolutions is exhausting and often defeating. In fact, the second Friday of January has been dubbed “National Quitter’s Day.” That’s how long it takes most people to give up on their New Year’s resolutions.
Needing a New Way for the New Year
As a woman navigating betrayal, the need to do things differently, to build a safer and better life than the one we’ve been given, can be overwhelming. Many of us go into the new year without hope, worrying that things will never get better. With that fear, we stare down the new year with dogged determination and unrelenting expectations and make resolutions.
But what if we could face the new year with gentleness and grace, especially when it comes to ourselves? Several years ago, I decided to exchange my New Year’s Resolutions with New Year Intentions by simply asking myself how I wanted to show up in the next 12 months. This choice has been life-giving and has led to much more personal growth than a kept resolution ever could.
How can this simple word change make a difference? Let’s take a look. Intentions are more focused on a desired mindset or overall quality of life. Resolutions, on the other hand, are typically specific, concrete actions or changes you aim to achieve. Intentions act as guiding principles that are flexible and focused on the journey itself. Resolutions demand stricter timelines, more pressure to succeed or fail, and keep a laser-focus on the destination.
Setting Intentions with God
One of my favorite parts about setting intentions is the opportunity it allows to bring God into the process. As the old year comes to an end, I ask God to show me the intention that He would like to see in my life. Very often, that comes in the form of a single word or phrase. In past years, He’s spoken the words “Hold On,” “Reach,” “Story,” and “See.” While none of these make sense to you, they were complete revelations to me. With each word, I spent my year focusing on how it could be lived out in my life.
Setting intentions have several benefits. First, they bring less pressure. By focusing on how you want to BE rather than what you want to DO, intentions bring less stress and more sustainability. In addition, the mindset shift of setting intentions encourages a positive and energetic approach to personal growth. We can also find greater self-awareness because the process of setting intentions can help us identify our core values and what truly matters to each of us.
January 1 is not a magical day. The throwing away of the 2024 calendar won’t usher in a new you. But spending a few days talking to God about how you can show up this new year can change everything. Let go of the pressure of resolutions and step into the grace of intentionality. God will meet you there and be your loudest cheerleader.
Choosing Intentionally,
Want more of the intentions versus resolutions conversations? Keep checking out the blog in the month of January.